The 59-year-old Fresno attorney says he appreciates a lot of things about being Colby's father.

Wider perspective on life Lawyer Jim Wagoner learns from his severely disabled son.By Diana Marcum / The Fresno Bee06/15/08 21:57:14



Jim Wagoner says he'll run in Fresno's Father's Day race until his legs fall off.

Every year he pushes his son Colby in a jogger. At 12 years old, Colby weighs 163 pounds. He can't speak because of severe mental retardation and autism, but he flaps his hands in joy and squeals when they run through the tunnels because he seems to like to hear his voice bounce back.

"I take great pride in being able to push my son in the race. I enjoy hearing him yell," says Wagoner.
The 59-year-old Fresno attorney says he appreciates a lot of things about being Colby's father.

"Colby taught me the outside of life," he says. "I work at a law firm where all the families are as close to perfect as they can be. The men and women are good-looking. The kids are going to Harvard. There's an inside groove -- the mainstream freeway. But when you step outside or circumstances put you outside that groove you have a much wider perspective on life.

"Colby gives me the joy of riding on the frontage road of life. Before Colby, I was mostly a freeway guy."

His wife and his friends describe Jim Wagoner as very competitive.

He says he disagrees with that assessment.

"If you're competitive with others, you're shooting too low," he says. "I'm just interested in doing my best."

But he does say that age and Colby have made him slow down and make sure he's "really enjoying the special moments."

When Wendy Wagoner was pregnant with Colby there was no sign of trouble. It wasn't until Colby was 9 months old and not developing as he should that doctors discovered a genetic defect.

Wendy, 45, also an attorney, quit work and stayed home, with the main goal of getting Colby out of diapers. They're still working on that.

When Colby was 6 years old, Jim told Wendy they should have another child.

"I was terrified. I didn't think it was a good idea," she says.

But Jim Wagoner was convinced she should have the experience of raising a healthy child as well as Colby.

"I knew it was going to be OK. We'd talked it over," he says, pointing upward to indicate he is a praying man.

Wendy says his argument for another child was the best closing argument he ever gave.

"She was third in her class in law school. My wife is very, very smart. I knew I had to do well," he says.

Jim Wagoner has nicknamed 6-year-old daughter Nicole -- a healthy, chatty child -- "Breezy." He says some of his best moments are seeing "Wendy and Breezy head off to do girl stuff" while he stays with Colby.

Wendy's home all day with Colby and Jim knows she needs breaks. Colby can be difficult -- he sometimes hits and scratches. But he also hugs and smiles and gives what the Wagoners call "hippo kisses," big open-mouthed smacks of affection. Colby sleeps best when he's curled up against one of them. Jim Wagoner says he doesn't think Wendy ever gets more than three hours of sleep at a time. He says she is his inspiration.

On Sunday morning in downtown Fresno the whole Wagoner family runs the Father's Day race. Jim Wagoner's older, strapping sons from a previous marriage, Daniel, 24, and Joey, 20, are the first of the family at the finish line.

Wendy Wagoner, pushing Nicole in a stroller, comes in later and stands waiting to watch Jim and Colby cross the finish line.

"Here comes Daddy and Colby," she says to Nicole when she spots them.

"He's amazing, just amazing," she says quietly -- seemingly to herself-- as Jim and Colby finish 61 minutes after they began the 6-mile run.

"I can barely walk and push him in that thing and Jim runs the whole six miles every year just because Colby enjoys it," she says. She's teary-eyed.

Wendy Wagoner worries about how long the Father's Day race tradition can be maintained with Jim getting older and Colby getting bigger.

But Jim, his skin showing only a slight sheen of sweat, says it's not that much of a feat.

"It's not that hard," he says. "Just lean forward, don't stop and don't let the family down."
The reporter can be reached at dmarcum@fresnobee.com or (559) 441-6375.